D. B. DEVILLIERS

Poetry

Second Sun: The Atomic Bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki

In observance of today’s historical significance, here is something a bit different from my usual work.


Seventy years ago, the sun rose early above the barren New Mexico desert, bathing the pre-dawn landscape in brilliant blinding light before burning it to ashes.

In an instant, any sign that life had once existed in this place was immolated by searing hellfire. Devastation swept outward, as ripples caused by a stone dropped into a pond do, from a single point—a gaping crater where, seconds earlier, a steel tower had loomed menacingly before the cacti and sagebrush.

At its apex, this tower had housed the product of one of the most ambitious scientific endeavors in human history—years of toil by the world’s brightest minds made manifest, shut up inside a flimsy tin shack suspended a hundred feet from the desert floor.

It was here, over a rural and desolate region of the American Southwest, where the course of history was irreparably altered, forever damning the notion of total industrial warfare to the pages of history—or rather, consummating the marriage of post-Second World War global conflict to the certain annihilation of modern society.

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Strength

Of course
you can give your heart to
someone else, but it’s a heavy
thing—
if you cannot bear it yourself,
how could you justify forcing it upon another?
How could you force a person
to carry your cross
in addition to his own?
It’s better, I think
to instead grow
stronger.

Learn to love yourself.

A New Day

I lost my job again
stopped showing,
didn’t call again
but that’s okay.
I slept til four PM
each day
for the last week again
but that’s okay.
I got piss-drunk again
can’t remember, but heard I
insulted all my friends
again
but that’s okay.

Today’s a new day.

Lots of places seeking help
and I didn’t like my job anyway
and those nights awake
were worth the wait—
I’d thoughts I may not think again
and my friends all know the way I am
and in spite of that, they’ll stay.

So life’s okay on this overcast day
and I’ll keep living on, some way.

Thoughts of You

I didn’t think of you when my eyes went wide
when the buzz began and I was brushing
residue from my stubbly, sleep-deprived face
when the sky was brilliant blue
and the summer air felt fresh on my bare knees
but I thought of you later.
I thought of you as I crashed hard
when the liquor which came for free
returned to take its toll on my weary mind
because you aren’t the rush, the buzz, the high.
You are the dread crash and comedown
when the drugs have run out, much like you did
and you come to fill that vacant void
from somewhere across the wastes of time and space
but you’re a ghost, and these thoughts occupy me
like water poured into an endless pit
left me wanting always more
and never receiving.

I thought of you then.

The Good People

There are lots of good people
out there.
Just ask the next one you see
and he’ll tell you himself:
“I’m a good person.”
Be careful, though
because not everyone’s a good one
and the bad ones—
they’ll lie
and they’ll tell you that they’re good,
too
but the worst ones—
oh,
the worst ones—
they’ll think they’re telling the truth.

A Smart Man

I’ll concede that this poem is likely
little more than an
exercise in arrogance
but I’d call myself
a fairly smart man
and I’ve been so told for
a long time
and I’ve been told, too
about the great things I’d do and be
because I’m a smart man.
Well, I haven’t seen much of that
in spite of their best standardized predictors
and I guess I must’ve been
a bit of a
disappointment
when I ended up being a little
less smart
than they’d insisted I was
but I have myself discovered one aspect
of intelligence
that nobody ever told me about
so don’t let anyone tell you
that these things come
without cost.
I’ll admit, I might be wrong
but I doubt it—
see, I’ve found that there’s just one guarantee
with intelligence
and that guarantee is that
it’s pretty
fucking
lonely.

The Ocean

Sometimes
I feel I can relate
to the ocean and its ways;
after all, they say
we know more about what
goes on
on the moon
that we do about
the workings of the deepest
depths
of the ocean.

I guess what I’m trying to say is
that I don’t really know what I’m trying
to say, and that all I really know
is that I don’t really know
all that much
at all
but all that’s okay,
I guess.

What Time Cannot Heal

It has been long said
that time heals all things
but in my experience,
that isn’t entirely true—
you see, time does heal most things
but some wounds are stubborn
and it takes a while, but even time
sometimes loses patience
and when that happens, it’s over
for what time cannot heal,
it kills.

Greener Grass

Of course, the grass is no greener
in the places I’m not
but hopefully, maybe
if I’m lucky
it’ll be a little bit
less brown.

Moving Van

The moving van merged right, passing a grey sedan before merging back left in front of it. The move was unusual, since the left lane is typically used when passing another vehicle, and the German-made turbocharged engine in the sedan was by no means propelling it slowly. Professionally-armored cars are often designed such that the vehicles appear virtually indistinguishable from their stock counterparts; however, while heavy steel plates can be concealed from the eye, their massive weight remains—the sedan was travelling as quickly as its talented driver could control—a far cry from its factory top speed.

Immediately after the van overtook the car, its driver activated a small switch attached to the steering column. It activated a signal light inside the moving van’s rear cargo box, an alarm gave a short warning report, and a small opening cut into the large roll-up rear door was revealed. Directly inside the opening sat a large machine gun—an M2 Browning of Belgian manufacture, procured for a large sum—fixed to a short swiveling stand.

The sedan’s driver, having experience in regards to evasive driving, knew almost immediately what was about to take place, but that cruel split-second delay separating recognition and reaction might as well in this case have lasted a century.

Black until now, the trapdoor became illuminated.

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