“Good evening sir, I’m Deputy Barron. I’ve come bearing bad news–that much is apparent. But before I begin, I must take some time to describe my affliction: I speak only in rhyme.
I’ve lifelong been sickened, so very much stricken by this rare condition–no chance of remission. I beg be forgiven as you sit and listen, for what I must tell you will make your cheeks glisten.
Please glance at this photo, for I simply must know. Is the little boy pictured your son, Billy Joe?
In that event, sir, I do deeply regret–he took a hard fall from the schoolyard swing-set. An ambulance drove right up onto the green, and EMTs pronounced him dead on the scene.
I don’t often do this thanks to my affliction–I’m typically found in our station’s kitchen–but when the need be, and there’s no other way, I can’t dodge my duty, no matter the day.
So with that, my friend, I’ll be on my way. My welcome is something I won’t overstay. Through these hard weeks, I pray you fare well. The department will reach out with details to tell.”