D. B. DEVILLIERS

Poetry

Tag: fear

In Spite of Prudent Advice

If you insist upon loving me
against good advice and
for reasons I won’t pretend to understand
then, before you invest yourself in me,
I feel compelled to elucidate the reasons
for which I gave that advice—
you see, I’m quite crazy
and not in the way that most people call themselves crazy.
No, I’m really nuts,
and because of that, I’ve been known
to routinely make irrational decisions
with flagrant disregard
for whatever consequences might follow.
I’m cripplingly inconsistent
which, I am told
makes for a poor financial investment
and an even poorer emotional one.

Simply put, given past behavior,
I’ll likely continue to make
frequent and terrible mistakes
so understand that, if you choose to love me
I very well might
spurn reason and objective thought
and make some short-sighted, careless decision;
I might well eventually do
something rash and awful,
something that would doubtless leave
an irreparable crack in that mechanism by which
you and I both connect with others
and derive happiness from those connections.

To speak plainly—
if you end up loving me
odds are I’ll do something reckless and damaging
something that cannot be undone
something we’ll both regret
for a long, long time:

I might love you back.

Of Shadows and Trees

Sometimes I think back
to when I was a kid
and I firmly believed
evil hid between the trees
and behind every shadow
waiting to drag me screaming
to wherever evil lived.
 
But way back then
evil was pretty rare
and good appeared to be
nearly everywhere
so I took comfort in that
and I solemnly chose
to avoid the shadows and the trees
in favor of company and light.
 
But when I grew older
I ventured out between the trees
and I found no evil there
just branches and leaves.
I lit up the shadows
as I became bolder
but there was no evil there
either.
 
It turns out that evil
makes no effort
to hide from me
at all.
 
It smiles at me
and laughs with me
and I call it my friend.
It lives like I do
and looks like I do
and speaks like I do
too.
 
The monsters were never monsters
they were human beings.
They never lived in the shadows
or the trees.
The monsters all along
were plain to see.
 
I often find myself
among the shadows
and between the trees
hiding from the evil
that lives
in light
and company.