D. B. DEVILLIERS

Poetry

Tag: mental health

A Computer Curated Several Advertisements Just For Me

Season’s greetings I’m a content creator I create content and
I influence that’s right I’m
an influencer too
For bookings, contact: …
I create content
I influence
that’s right my influence is grown on a
server farm in another hemisphere
it’s fake influence but pretend pretend pretend with me
that’s where the content’s used as a fertilizer
its sole productive purpose
the waste products excreted by my mind, like this here
writing as a psychic eliminatory process
piped around in fiber optics
internet as a sewage pipe that flows really really fast
works better fertilizing than cow shit and yes it’s vegan it’s
gluten free it’s non gmo one
hundred percent certified content
potentially useful in the hobbyist manufacture of
high explosives been done before but
see now that’s off label use
shouldn’t do that, and well anyway let’s get to it
I’d like you to eat my content
now look here it’s real tasty got some zest to it don’t you
want to eat my content I’ll nuke a box of frozen
content for dinner tonight yeah
yeah why don’t we do that and while it
spins and machine whirs science heating
we can argue for instance about what words don’t
mean over dinner too why not why don’t we
argue have a nice topical argument good English manners
talk the weather argue the climate over some unevenly
heated content fresh from the microwave it’ll be
so very politic how terribly clever we are we can
split the brick cleaner it’s a stellar pairing why don’t we
trade swigs back and forth no need for glasses til we
choke in blood each of us trying to say
you’re not drowning I am
only producing pained spluttering monosyllables
interspersed frequently with hindbrain gurgling, indecipherable
but that’s a rather different manner of argument isn’t it because before
I didn’t believe in what I was saying anyway and
you didn’t believe in what you were saying and anyway
I didn’t think it really mattered you didn’t either and anyway
neither of us managed to change the other’s mind, unsurprising
and we were both wrong all along but at first at least we
sort of knew that but then we wound up accidentally
convincing ourselves we wanted to talk about
it and believe things and we wanted to
eat my content don’t you
don’t you.

Shouting

I don’t know if you can hear me but I’m shouting
I don’t know if you know this but
I’m trying this is a
new town a new place a new outlook a new
poem new eyes new this is a new car
this is new
this is an attempt
this is effort
this is killing me
this is slow death
this is me subverting a stereotype
this is where I do that
this is where I actively show weakness to people I don’t know
these are the problems of a man you wouldn’t like
this is how you ink a fountain pen
this is killing me
this is how you finish a liter of liquor in one short sitting
this is how you lose your mind
this is how
you can trust me I ought to know
this is how you think you’re worth it
this is how you write stilted verses on your
phone at three thirty in the
morning this is how many
milligrams you take and this
is how much you drink afterwards to
feel like at least tonight your
blood pressure probably won’t
rupture your eyes this is how you
take a deep breath and come back into
lower orbit this is how you think you’re
not batshit for a fleeting fucking
instant this is how you meet
new people this is how you
embarrass yourself this is
how you justify it this is how you
become unconscious
this is how you derive hope
this is how you lose your mind
this is how
this is killing me
I don’t know if you
can hear me but I’m
shouting.


It’s not so bad as it sounds.