D. B. DEVILLIERS

Poetry

Tag: friendship

I Was Wearing Your Tee Shirt When I Wrote This (rest easy brother)

Once upon a time there was a promise
once there was a sort of expectation
the sort you remember when you’re
drinking at 4:47am
that you’d go to
college and fall in
love and maybe you
kind of did
both
kind of
a friend of mine died a few months ago
I didn’t know
he sat for the bar exam blasted up
and passed
and it took a couple decades but
he passed too
where was his promise
I wonder what put light in his heart at 25
I wonder if he got it
I wonder who shot him up
that last time
with the parkinsonian tremors I
doubt he did it himself
wonder how they feel
I imagine worse than I do
and I hope hope hope worse than
you.

A Friendless Narcissus

Friendly plans made among friends
to engage in activities which
characterize and largely
comprise friendship—
we’ll get a beer next time I’m in town
next time you come around
like the old days
like the not good but better than these days, days
past by—
plans made without any real intent
desire, or expectation on either end
of follow-through.

It happens a number of times
here and there, over the course of
a couple of years
and that’s how you wake up one
morning clear and brisk
quite
alone.

But you’ve always enjoyed your
own company, enjoyed it more than just
about anyone else’s
so solitude most of the time isn’t any
sort of burden
and it’s often very much your preference
though you don’t resent people in any general sense,
you rather actually tend to like them,
you just like yourself
just a little bit
too
much
and therefore in the end, yourself is
all you get
and you’re the only reason why.


Self-criticism, in verse.